It is difficult, there is no doubt about that. However, I didn’t think it would be this challenging for me and my precious broken heart. It is quite odd that my phone has been silent lately, I am pretty used to it being buzzed due to messages and IMs. But what can I do, right? It has already happened.
Yesterday I decided to go out and visit my friends at one of their houses after a long time, just talk to them you know. Let out on whatever was in my heart and mind. Well, I broke down crying while I was informing them about what had happened to me recently. Actually I only cried in front of one of them, who I shall label her name as K. She was the one who knew the details of my relationship and I didn’t even have to tell her what it was. She would just figure it out. No, I didn’t expect them to pity me or have any sympathy for me. I just wanted someone to hear me out, you know. I didn’t want to burden my beautiful mother with more problems since I had dropped that major bomb of an information on her that day. Plus, she’s going through with her own problems. Anyway, back to my small group of friends. I am grateful about one thing, they were there for me when I was really at the dark moment of my life. They picked me up when I fell. They really cheered me up, but I knew that was not going to last long because sooner or later, I would probably be sad again. Still, I thank them for helping me through a bit. A heartbreak cannot be healed instantly.
Another friend of mine who I shall label as J. He made me realize that I needed to wake up and not dwell into the pain which I am facing right now. Why? Because time will be wasted. Also, J supported and encouraged me to do what I wanted to do and excel it even further. Not to prove to anyone else (it would be a bonus though), but to prove to myself that I am a somebody, that I am not a slacker, that I am worth something and lastly, that I’m ME. Believe it or not, it made me smile. My mother had told me that as well, which I did appreciate but you know, it’s not the same as having someone unrelated to you saying that. It made me feel like I am not that invisible, there are a few more people besides my family that knew I exist. Yes, might be a few people but at least it’s something rather than nothing.
My mother had told me last night, “You will be fine, it will take time. But remember, God will never put something which you can’t handle upon you because no matter what sins you have done, He will still love you because you are His creation. Without His power, there is no you.”. I love you Mom.
– Your imperfect anonymous.